As moms and as women, we find ourselves constantly experiencing guilt. It’s seems to be in our nature, our DNA, to doubt, to question and to compare. Yup, I said it. We compare ourselves to other moms around us and wonder if we are good enough. Did I measure up? Did I do enough for my son or daughter today and every day?
Meanwhile we forget to ask, did I do enough for ME today?
When we have more than one child, the doubting compounds itself like the savings account we wish we had. And the guilt builds and builds until…we implode under the stress and have a not-so-pretty mommy meltdown.
Don’t feel guilty for feeling tired and wishing you had some time for yourself. Because you are WORTHY of filling up those needy places in your soul, and your time spent with God will fill them. You are WORTHY of taking time to meet your own needs rather than always just meeting the needs of your children.
Now let’s be clear. I’m not saying we should neglect our children in any way. I’m simply saying let’s get a better balance in our lives. Let’s avoid always putting ourselves last because of our mom guilt.
It’s hard to plan a day or evening away from the kids with friends or our husbands. But if we don’t make our own selves and God a priority, we truly will have nothing left to give to our families.
Especially when our kids our young and needy, it is so hard to take time out to spend with God. God’s love shows us another way to live. It’s a life free from the shackles and chains of mommy guilt. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18 ESV). Don’t let fear or guilt keep you from filling up your God tank.
He wants us to be still and get to know him, which He promises will glorify Him. He wants our quiet time. “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10 ESV).
Here are two basic steps to living in freedom with a balanced life of mommy time versus mommy and me time:
1. Make time with God a priority. You can do this I promise, but you’ve got to plan it and be strategic. Even if it’s only 5 minutes, God will fill you up so much in the time you give to Him. Make a consistent time with Him every day: before your child awakes, during naptime, when dad gets home from work, etc…
2. Make time for yourself each day. Allow yourself one hour a day to do something you enjoy, something that makes you feel good. I don’t think one hour is enough, but I want to be realistic for busy moms. If this means getting a babysitter, then do it. Arrange a babysitting swap with a friend. You watch her kids for one hour on Monday. Then she watches your kids for one hour on Tuesday and so on. Pray about this time and ask God how He wants you to use it. Read the bible or a devotional, take a bath, talk to a friend, exercise, take Holy yoga, go to a mom’s group, watch a funny show. Whatever it is, make sure that you are doing it for YOU.
I hope these suggestions will help you realize that you’ve got to fill up your God tank first, so you can be the best mommy and the one God intended you to be. Don’t feel guilty for needing some down-time away from the kids.
Be Blessed,
AllisonD
